i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Randomize
