Well apparently he's into motor boating.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
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