My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
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