cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
well you can't waste a boner
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Vodka?
Forever.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
