I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Welp...herpes.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
