nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
