dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
