so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
It's just like the Real World with babies
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Randomize
