the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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