Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
