u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
