i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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