Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
