I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
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