i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
