4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Drake has all the answers
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
