I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
She needs sedatives and a leash
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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