She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize