Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
