I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
