I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize