I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
