Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
it's like heaven, but drunker
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize