pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
