I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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