And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
