I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
