I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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