"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
it wasn't lemon gatorade
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
