You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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