i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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