Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
