I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
