Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize