I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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