I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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