So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
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I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
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I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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