OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Randomize
