One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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