I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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