Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
