I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
