I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
