Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
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