no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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