Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
