why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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