I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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