you turned your livingroom into a bong?
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
