I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
