I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
