before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
