You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Randomize