Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Randomize
