I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I have post one night stand depression
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