She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
